What Did I Do To Deserve This? A Babysitter's Introduction To
By KC Smith, Fri Dec 9th
When you decided to start babysitting, you probably had no ideaabout Separation Anxiety in children. You may feel like anexpert by now! Most likely, two factors caused you to considerbabysitting: You wanted to earn some money, and you love kids.Put the two together, and it doesn't take a brain surgeon to seethat is a pretty reasonable part-time job for you.Maybe you've taken some classes and networked for your firstjobs, or maybe you have talked a family member into letting yousit for a cousin or nephew on the weekends. Whether you alreadyknow the child well or just meet him that day, the first part ofthe evening generally looks something like this: The parents lead you around the house, showing you were to findsnacks, band-aids, emergency numbers, etc. The child eyes youand maybe hides behind Mom or Dad. The parents put on their coats and gather their keys, whichcauses the little guy to get pretty worked up.
A full-fledged tear fest begins when the parents say goodbye.The child cries, pleads, and maybe even throws a temper tantrum. He continues to cry for a few minutes after the folks leave andthen turns to you as if nothing has happened and asks if youwant to play. Talk about a blow to the ego! Each time to you go over to babysit, you get the same situation. It can cause you to wonder ifyou've done something to terrify the kid or if maybe his parentshave spoiled him, and now he throws a fit when they want to dosomething without him. You begin to wonder if one of you hassome sort of mental disorder. Most likely, none of these is thecase. When babies reach a certain age, they develop SeparationAnxiety. It happens to pretty much every child
and continuesthrough the toddler and preschool years. The reason it happensis so that the child won't wander too far away from Mom or Dad.They want to be near their parents and therefore shouldn't gettoo carried away and end up lost or hurt with no one to help. Itis a part of how their brains develop. You did the same thingwhen you were little. The best way for a babysitter to deal with Separation Anxiety inchildren is to recognize that it is completely normal. Youhaven't done anything to cause the child to dislike you. It canalso be frustrating because after a fun evening of playingCandyland and watching Disney movies, the kid will often startcrying again when the parents return. Believe it or not, he'snot trying to make it look like you've been torturing him forhours! It is a result of the Separation Anxiety. When theparents come home, his little brain remembers how upsetting itwas when they left. That's why you can have a ton of fun everytime you baby sit, but the baby or toddler will still cry thenext time you come over. The good news is that by the child, you are teachinghim that he can be safe away from Mom and Dad. He is learninghow to trust other people and discovering that he is anindividual. You are actually a part of him developing into ahealthy adult! Of course, it can be disappointing the next timeyou watch him, and it seems like he doesn't remember how wellyou get along. Give him a few minutes to adjust, and it willcome back to him. You can also take heart in the fact that byrecognizing Separation Anxiety in children, you can help themmove safely through that phase of their development. About the author:Learn how to beat YOUR child's separation anxiety with TheSeparation Anxiety Solution at:http://www.separation-anxiety-solution.com Article written by: KC Smith |
